Amber and Rachel in...The Persistent Funk

[OscarD]

“Amber, are you awake?”

“Yes.”

“How do you feel, honey?”

“I’m fine.”

“Any change in your outlook?”

“Like what?”

“Like, are you still done with everything like you said?”

“I didn’t say I was done with everything.”

“Well, everything but sex…”

“Why? Do you want to have sex with me?”

“Sure. If you want to.”

“I don’t really care.”

“Boy, that enthusiasm is really infectious.”

“Well, I said I would do it. So do you want to or not?”

“I don’t think I can really turn you down for morning sex, Amber. Of course I’m in.”

A pretty long time later.

“OK, are we done?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“What?”

“You just laid there. That was very…not awesome.”

“Well, you got off, didn’t you?”

“I mean, ultimately, sure. But I just about wore myself out first. Did you enjoy it?”

“I guess it was OK.”

“Unbelievable.”

She just looked at me. No emotion, nothing. So I shook my head and got up to head to the shower.

[OscarD]

Later that morning I was on the phone with Rachel, talking about business stuff. And then the subject of Amber came up.

“How is she?” asked Rachel. “I haven’t heard from her in almost a week.”

“Funny you should mention that. I’d tell you, but maybe I ought to show you instead. Are you busy right now?”

“Not really. I have something after lunch, but…you want me to come over?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Do that. Maybe you can figure this out.”

And a few minutes later…

“So what’s the deal?”

“Well, she’s just…I don’t know, shut down or something. I don’t know if it’s a technical Factory Girl thing, or what. But maybe she needs to see somebody other than me.”

“What do you mean, shut down?”

“I mean she’s just kinda lethargic. She says she’s done with everything. Doesn’t want to talk about anything, doesn’t want to get out of bed, it’s weird.”

“Is she depressed?”

“She says she’s fine. She’s just done. And it’s been like three days now with this.”

“Yeah, let me talk to her. Something else is going on and she doesn’t want to tell you.”

“That’s what I’m thinking.”

So Rachel went upstairs and I followed…

“Hey, honey! How are you? Oscar says you’re feeling a little off.”

“I told him I’m fine. I’m fine.”

“Amber, are you naked under those sheets?”

“Uh huh.”

“You don’t want to get up and put some clothes on?”

“Nope.”

Rachel looked at me. I shrugged.

“Well, what’s wrong, Amber? Is there anything I can do?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t feel like doing anything.”

“OK, sweetie, people don’t just lay in bed all day unless something’s going on. What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” said Amber.

“Are you just taking a break? Sometimes people need a break for a while, and that’s OK.”

“It’s not a break. Like I said, I’m done.”

“With Oscar, or with everybody? Are you breaking up with him?”

“It has nothing to do with Oscar.”

[OscarD]

“Well, it’s really not fair to him that you’re just shutting everybody out, you know. What do you expect him to do about that?”

“He’s still having sex with me, so…”

Rachel looked at me.

“A little too much information, maybe? Thanks, Amber.”

“Whatever. It’s true.”

“OK, honey,” said Rachel. “Well, if you need anything I want you to call me, all right? I’m here for you if you want me to be.”

“Like I told you, I’m fine,” said Amber.

“Can I talk to you?” Rachel said to me.

“Sure.”

She grabbed her purse, put her hair back up and met me on the stairwell.

“OK, you’re right. There is definitely a problem. That is NOT the Amber I know.”

“Yeah, I get it. It’s really weird. She was totally fine Saturday night, we went out to Fleming’s and had an amazing dinner, came home, and Sunday morning she was good, and then boom - I’m stuck with Nothing Amber.”

“Maybe you’re right that it’s a Factory Girl thing.”

“Has to be. If she was mad at me she’d tell you about it, right?”

“I would hope so. Plus, her voice! Amber’s super-expressive and this is just kinda monotone, you know?”

“I didn’t really pick up on that at first. It came off as just standoffish. But now that you mention it, yeah.”

“OK, so, do you call the factory or something?”

“Rachel, I have no idea. I would think Amber would tell me how to fix her if this was a technical problem. I mean, I’ve fixed other stuff on her. But how to reboot her soul? Beats me.”

“Oh, no. No way. We’re not gonna lose her like this. OK, I’ll try to research…whatever this is. You keep talking to her and see if she’ll tell you anything.”

“That was my plan, yeah.”

“You can’t reboot her somehow?”

“I mean…there are things I can try, but they didn’t send an instruction manual with her. This has been sort of learn-as-you-go for the last two years.”

“Well, I’ll just say it: if this is, you know, permanent? I’m here for you.”

“That’s sweet, Rachel.”

“No. I mean I’m here for you.”

“Oh. What about the mobby concrete guy?”

She just looked at me, then she threw her arms around me and kissed me on the cheek before leaving.